


But If You Wait

by ghostsinthesnow



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Boarding School, F/M, Frerard, petekey, petemikey, trans!frank
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-17
Packaged: 2018-03-07 14:44:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3176387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostsinthesnow/pseuds/ghostsinthesnow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard moves to New Jersey to attend a boarding school, there he meets someone who seems to definitely perk his interest.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so the summary reeeally sucks, but please stick around, I've been working on this one for a while!

Gerard sighed, he was finally down to the last box. He had help from a couple students, but the last trip up the stairs felt like it would kill him. He didn’t understand why he had to be roomed on the top floor, but at least the view was pretty cool. He set the box down, and looked around. He was a junior, and most kids entered this school when they were freshmen, he was new, and he didn’t know how he would feel about that. Would he be able to make friends? He started to get anxious, what if his roommate wouldn’t even talk to him.

He took a deep breath and bit his lip. He didn’t know what he expected when he came to New Jersey, he was very far from home in Arizona, and his parents had spent _way_ too much money to put him in the school for him to go back now. He let out the breath slowly and started to open his boxes. It didn’t seem like whoever he was being roomed with had arrived yet, as there was absolutely nothing else in the room, the bed wasn’t even made.

He shrugged and decided that unpacking might not be a good idea until his roommate got there, he wouldn’t want to do anything that he wouldn’t agree with.

He went to the window and looked outside, seeing groups of kids gathering together, talking, probably groups of them talking about what they did over the summer. It suddenly made him feel homesick, he missed his old school, he didn’t want to be there, he didn’t know the people, he didn’t know what was outside of the school, and he definitely wasn’t big on change. He took another deep breath as he felt himself start to worry too much.

He felt like this would definitely be a long year.

*

Frankie sat down outside, and looked over at her best friend, Jamia. Her black bangs fell over her eyes as she looked down at the smuggled pack of cookies. “You honestly think it’s a good idea to eat them now? What if we run out?”

Jamia laughed, a laugh Frankie thought was one of the cutest sounds she’d ever heard, “I think we’ll be okay.” She picked up a cookie and twisted it, licking at the cream. Frankie thought that was cute too, the way she licked the cream out of the cookie instead of eating it whole.

She shrugged and took one, biting it and looking at the kids hugging each other. She knew a lot of people by name, but she never really spoke to too many of them, only her friends that she was comfortable with. Jamia was one of those people, obviously, they had known each other for years, since they were both only in kindergarten. She was still shocked that Jamia felt the same way about her.

They started dating last year, and they had met up with each other in the summer whenever they could, and although that wasn’t often, and often required Frankie climbing out of her bedroom window in the middle of the night in order to go anywhere with her. She much preferred to be here, where she could see Jamia almost any time she wanted.

It was hard though. She would have to sneak constantly into the girl’s dormitory. It wasn’t fair to her, she was a girl, and everyone knew that. She hated that whenever she was put into the school her parents told the school not to put her in one of the girl’s room, since they didn’t believe that she was a girl. She hated her parents for it. She could have had the possibility of seeing her girlfriend whenever she wanted, but now she had to pass the teachers that were always on duty to make sure none of the boys got into the building.

She sighed, and looked over at Jamia, happy that it was a nice enough day to sit outside like this. Usually in the middle of summer it was much too hot to be able to bare it. The last thing she wanted was for her to have to smell her body odor. “I like being here, it’s so much better than home.”

Jamia looked over at her, and Frankie couldn’t help but to notice the look on her face, she knew a lot of things about her, but one thing that confused her the most was when she looked at her like that. She never could tell what that face meant, it was never the same thing. It was always a mix of emotions that showed in her face when she looked like that. She couldn’t help but to turn away. She didn’t like being looked at with eyes that seemed like they were glaring through her.

“Frankie, you know what the kids here say about you, why do you like it here so much?”

That was it, that was always what it was, that question, one she couldn’t find an answer to no matter how many times she thought about it. She didn’t know why she found it so peaceful in the school where no matter how many times she told everyone that she was a girl, no one seemed to believe her. Just because she didn’t look like one.

She had let her hair grow out over the summer, although her mother tried to take the scissors to it herself several times, and she bought makeup and dresses in secret. She never had the guts to wear them outside, she usually wore them in secret, or only showed them off to Jamia and Ray.

She had gotten better at applying makeup, only using a little. Her favorite was the red lipstick Jamia gave her, she loved the way it made her lips look, and she especially loved the way it left marks on Jamia’s lips. She never work makeup, no matter how many times Frankie tried to beg her to let her give her a makeover, to practice on her. They always ended up in a fit of laughs, with Frankie laying on top of Jamia with a blush brush.

Jamia did Frankie’s makeup for her, though. That was something Frankie really enjoyed. She loved Jamia’s gentle fingers running over the skin of her face, applying concealer to the circles under her eyes. She wasn’t allowed to stay over at Jamia’s house often, she would lie and tell her parents that she was going to see her friend Ray, since her parents knew him, and they loved his family. She sighed at the memory.

“Wanna do my makeup after we unpack?” She asked, ignoring her question, and looking at her face, a smile returning to her own. “I promise I won’t try to do yours this time.”

Jamia smiled, “Of course I will, let’s hurry, do you know your room?”

Frankie nodded, “Yeah, I think his name’s Mikey, he’s my year.”

“I hope you guys get along.”

*

Gerard flopped down on his bed, relieved to finally be finished with the work. His roommate’s name was Ray, and he seemed okay enough. He was glad he was friendly, the last thing he wanted was to be in a room with some dick.

Ray sighed loudly, tossing the last box to the side. “So Gerard, why’d ya have to come all the way here, it’s not like it’s just down the road. I mean, I come from like an hour away, but your parents had to dive you all the way over here?”

Gerard nodded, “Yeah, uh, my dad went here, and he wanted me to, too.” He lied, though. It was harmless wasn’t it? It wasn’t a big deal to say that he and his brother were only here because his father went. He didn’t want to tell the truth about it all, especially not to someone he didn’t even know. He didn’t tell anyone about it, his family didn’t know, but it wasn’t like his family cared.

There was an accident, and after it, he and his brother had a choice, they could either go with their aunt that no one had seen since they were little, or they could go to a boarding school. Sure the boarding school was only temporary, and they would have to settle what they did over the breaks, but he couldn’t just go with someone like her.

He watched Ray nod, and smiled, “I thought this was a cool idea, I came here freshman year, I know almost everyone, he walked to the window, and just like Gerard had earlier, he watched the people, he rambled off a few names and smiled, looking back at Gerard.

He didn’t say anything as Ray pointed at someone, and paid as much attention to him as he could when he talked, but it was hard to. He wanted to lay down and read, and focus his attention on anything else, this was a lot of change, and he knew that this could either go very well, or very badly.

He tried to ignore the thoughts of how everything could go very wrong, and the nagging thought that he probably wouldn’t make friends, and he took out his mp3 player, one he’d managed to sneak in. It wasn’t allowed, just like food, snacks, and pets. He wondered why pets were so clearly put on the list of things that they couldn’t have. He shrugged the question off and plugged in his headphones, putting them over his ear and zoning out, laying back on his bed and closing his eyes, he wondered if taking a nap would be a bad thing or not, but he didn’t care, because soon he was asleep.


	2. New Faces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gerard meets Frankie and Jamia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it'll get better i swear

Gerard stepped out of the dormitory, and breathed in. It was a pretty nice day, the sun was covered by clouds, and he thanked whatever god there was out there for it. It had been unbearably hot the past few days, it seeped through the walls and the humidity made it almost unbearable. The weather was so much different than what he was used to in Arizona. He took a look around and licked his lips, noticing there weren’t many people out. He walked quickly to the building where he would find his classroom. Ray had given him a tour of the school on his first day. Gerard was very thankful about it, he wouldn’t have wanted to look lost around the hundreds of kids that shared the school.

It didn’t take long for him to find the first classroom, and once he’d gotten in he found a seat near the back and sat down, noticing that there was nothing to prove that the desk was taken or not. He would willingly move if it was, though, no reason to cause trouble on the first day.

He’d only been at the school for three days, enough time to get to know about four people, and his way around the campus. He knew what was allowed and what wasn’t through Ray.

On the first day he pulled out a cigarette and lit it, letting it hang loosely on his lips. Ray reminded him of every place where he could safely smoke without being caught by a teacher. He’d learned that even though the teachers could smell the smoke, he couldn’t get in trouble as long as he wasn’t caught in the act. He took a drag in the woods behind the school.

“If you share, I can get you some through my brother.” Ray smiled at him, hoping he’d give one up. Gerard noticed the signs of withdrawal, and handed him the carton of them, he knew how it felt to go through withdrawals, it was as uncomfortable as hell, and he wouldn’t wish the feeling on anyone. He watched Ray light up, and took the cigarettes and lighter back.

They had a nice few minutes of silence, and went back to the dorm. Ray talked a lot, and most of the time Gerard tried to give answers and talk too, but he didn’t say much. He wasn’t as open as Gerard was, and it seemed a lot like Ray was trying to crack him open. It wasn’t that easy, though, and Ray would learn that.

The next day was when Ray showed Gerard around. Gerard tried to hide a lot behind his hair. It wasn’t easy to stay hidden when you’re around a guy Ray, though, and he learned that quickly. When they’d walk by a group of people their heads would turn.

Ray was quite popular, Gerard learned quickly. It wasn’t hard to figure out, so many people liked him, what wasn’t to like about him, he was kind, and he definitely was nice to talk to.

Gerard looked around, no one seemed particularly interesting to him, there were groups of kids gathered, talking. He noticed how one person almost slapped another out of excitement, or something like that. He always thought it was funny how people used their hands to speak sometimes. He noticed Ray did it a lot.

He yawned a little, and looked towards another building they hadn’t looked at yet. “What’s in there?”

Ray turned to where he pointed and smiled, “The cafeteria, are you hungry, I know I am. It’s almost dinner time, wanna get something to eat?”

Gerard nodded, “Yeah that sounds good to me.” He followed Ray in and looked around. It looked much better than the cafeteria at his old school, and the smell wasn’t too bad.

“I think it’s burritos tonight, but who knows, it could be anything, they don’t keep us updated on anything.” Ray walked over to a group of kids, and Gerard wasn’t sure if he was supposed to follow or if he was having a private conversation. He watched him turn towards him, and gesture for him to come along, so he did. The group had only three people, and upon further inspection he noticed his brother was one of them. He walked towards them, and looked up at Mikey.

“Hey.” He smiled looking at him for a second, and then to the others.

Ray was quick to introduce them, “Gerard, this is Frankie, Jamia, and Mikey—“

Gerard laughed a little, “Yeah, I know Mikey, he’s my brother.”

Ray smiled, “Really? You do seem really similar to me.”

Gerard thought it might be the way they’re both pretty quiet. With Mikey, it only took a day or two before he’d open up, and then he’d talk your head off. It was the total opposite with Gerard, he shared little about himself, if anything. He didn’t like talking about himself, he never had a good experience doing it.

He looked up and noticed the kid, Frankie, he thought their name was, looking at him. He noticed they were in a skirt, but their features didn’t look very feminine. He smiled at them and looked at the other. Jamia, she was short, shorter than Frankie, even, and they weren’t that tall.

His eyes focused back on Mikey, who was looking at Ray, eyeing him suspiciously. Gerard smiled, and nudged him, “How do you know them?”

Mikey shrugged, his voice low so it was just them talking, but it wasn’t like it was a secret what they were talking about. “It’s my roommate and her girlfriend, I just met Jamia today.”

Gerard just nodded and turned back towards them, they were laughing, but he didn’t know what was funny. He smiled, and looked at Frankie again, Mikey had said ‘her’ when he was talking about them, and so he assumed that she was a girl. He studied her face while she was looking away, he couldn’t deny that she was good looking, and he blushed before looking away, seeing that there were already a few people in line, but he wasn’t very worried about it. He just looked back at Ray, wondering what they were talking about.

He shuffled his feet a little before noticing Ray turned towards him again, “Sorry, I’m being totally rude,” He turned back to the others, “Wanna get in line now? I think I’m starving.”

Frankie scoffed, “There’s no way you’re starving!”

“You think those cookies are gonna do anything, I’m a grown man!”

“You are not, you are seventeen, I think that you better get me a whole new pack of cookies, me and Jamia didn’t even have half of them!” She was shouting at a whisper, not wanting anyone to overhear them talking about their smuggled cookies. Gerard didn’t understand why they couldn’t have food, it wasn’t like they got snacks throughout the day, unless they got them from the vending machines, but no one had money for those.

They made their way to the line, Gerard falling to the back, behind Mikey. He liked Ray, and it was nice to actually know someone, but he didn’t want to bother him, or the other two. If they spoke to him he would answer, but otherwise he would be quiet. The line moved quickly, and Gerard got what he wanted. It turned out that Ray was right about the burritos.

Once they had all chosen seats, they sat down. Gerard looked at the others, and opened the bottle of water he had picked up. He drank and set it down. They were all quiet, that was until Ray broke the silence, again.

“So, what’s your take on trans people?”

Gerard looked up just in time to watch Frankie slap Ray’s shoulder, but her attention was focused totally on Gerard.

“I uh, they’re cool.” He didn’t know what to say, he couldn’t say much other than that.

“Yeah they are!” Ray laughed a little, “Frankie’s trans, but it totally sucks because her parents won’t let her transition, but then again its really good because here she can dress however she wants, Jamia lets her borrow clothes and makeup all the time.”

Gerard made a little ‘oh’ sound and nodded, “That’s good then, it’s nice here then, you don’t get shit for being a girl or whatever?” He was looking at Frankie again, her hair was over her eyes, and she swiped it away with one hand.

“No, not really, the kids here are pretty okay, I’ve only been here for a year though, I think everyone’s gotten used to seeing me in dresses now.” She smiled, and Gerard noticed her eyes stayed on him. He looked away, his eyes falling back on Ray. He hoped that that would be the end of the questions like that. He didn’t want to say the wrong thing. He always said the wrong thing. That’s why he didn’t talk so much.

Luckily there weren’t any more questions. Gerard was glad about that. There wasn’t even much more room for him to talk. He definitely didn’t mind that.

*

He didn’t want to go into the classroom, he hated classes, he hated when he had to show his knowledge, and he didn’t like to have to prove that he was smart. Sure he loved learning, but he didn’t like having to be graded on what he knew.

He didn’t like learning for a grade that was the thing. Stuff was nice to find out on his own, when he was interested to find out about it. He found reading and rereading the same thing over and over to be boring and pointless. He picked at his nails in class, not paying attention to any of the teachers as they introduced themselves and passed out the first assignment for the year. He picked at them until he noticed they were bleeding, then moved to the next one.

The classes passed by slowly, and he went back to his dorm. He found his mp3 player, put in his earbuds and took a nap, maybe he would sleep through the night.


End file.
